1
00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:05,673
- Would you pass the mustard?
- Sure.

2
00:00:06,048 --> 00:00:07,884
Hey. Wanna hear a fun fact about mustard?

3
00:00:08,092 --> 00:00:10,595
Is it that the glucosinolates
which give mustard its flavor

4
00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:14,223
were evolved by the cabbage family as
a chemical defense against caterpillars?

5
00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:17,185
Yeah.

6
00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:20,897
Well, that was fun. Good for you, Leonard.

7
00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:23,733
- Hey there.
- Hey, you're early.

8
00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:25,294
The movie doesn't start for an hour.

9
00:00:25,318 --> 00:00:27,570
Actually, we're not going to the movies.

10
00:00:27,737 --> 00:00:30,114
- We are here to kidnap you.
- (Chuckles)

11
00:00:30,448 --> 00:00:31,528
What are you talking about?

12
00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:34,744
Well, you eloped and we didn't get
a chance to throw you a bachelor party,

13
00:00:34,911 --> 00:00:36,329
so there's a Van downstairs

14
00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:39,957
and we're here to take you
to a surprise location for the weekend.

15
00:00:40,625 --> 00:00:42,460
Well, I'd hardly call this kidnapping.

16
00:00:42,627 --> 00:00:44,462
Where's the blindfold?
Where's the duct tape?

17
00:00:45,755 --> 00:00:47,798
Where's the part where you call me
and demand ransom

18
00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:51,219
and I try to keep you on the phone but
you hang up seconds before I can trace it

19
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:54,263
and then I say,
"I'm getting too old for this crud"?

20
00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:58,809
When do we leave?

21
00:00:59,477 --> 00:01:01,312
- Right now.
- Yeah, penny packed you a bag.

22
00:01:01,479 --> 00:01:02,772
(Chuckling) Wow, okay.

23
00:01:03,147 --> 00:01:05,459
You're seriously going to get in a Van
and let these two take you

24
00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:07,652
to an unknown destination
for an entire weekend?

25
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,612
Oh, not just him, you're coming, too.

26
00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:12,156
Oh, and how do you think
you're going to get me to do that?

27
00:01:12,365 --> 00:01:14,325
Unhand me! This is ridiculous!

28
00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:16,386
- I told you to put tape on his mouth.
- (Sheldon grunts)

29
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,079
And I told you he bit me.

30
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,582
(Theme song playing)

31
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:49,068
It's bad enough
I'm being taken against my will.

32
00:01:49,402 --> 00:01:52,488
I don't see why it has to be
in some hippie's mobile sex dungeon.

33
00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:56,492
Well, Sheldon,
there's something about this Van

34
00:01:56,659 --> 00:01:58,869
that you're going to find
very interesting.

35
00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:01,038
What? It runs on syphilis?

36
00:02:02,832 --> 00:02:07,169
This Van was owned and driven by
your personal physics hero,

37
00:02:07,378 --> 00:02:08,838
Richard feynman.

38
00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:11,048
- No.
- Howard: Yeah.

39
00:02:11,215 --> 00:02:14,802
- A buddy of mine let me borrow it.
- This was feynman's Van? That's so cool.

40
00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:17,096
Yeah, nothing's been changed
since he drove it.

41
00:02:17,263 --> 00:02:19,890
I bet he picked up a lot of
cute grad students in this bad boy.

42
00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:22,643
Yeah, and talked about physics with them.
(Gasps)

43
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,897
So, are you gonna give us a clue
where we're headed?

44
00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:29,066
Uh, okay. Let's see.

45
00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:32,903
They've got spicy food
and there's a chance you'll get diarrhea.

46
00:02:34,864 --> 00:02:36,032
India.

47
00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:39,201
We can drive there.

48
00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:40,745
Your house?

49
00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:44,707
We are going to méxico!

50
00:02:44,874 --> 00:02:46,667
Fun, I've never been there.

51
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:52,173
Leonard, don't be fooled. I'm from Texas.
"Me-he-co" is Spanish for Mexico.

52
00:02:53,591 --> 00:02:54,967
What's wrong with Mexico?

53
00:02:55,134 --> 00:03:00,556
Uh, mariachi bands, wild dogs, beans that
jump around 'cause there's a worm inside.

54
00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:03,809
Okay, calm down.
There's a theme to this weekend.

55
00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:08,939
We are going to Mexico in feynman's Van
to stay at the vacation house

56
00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:11,776
feynman bought
with the money from his nobel prize.

57
00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:14,779
[Viva la imodium! (Exclaims)

58
00:03:18,491 --> 00:03:20,451
Come on. Leonard's doing bachelor stuff.

59
00:03:20,618 --> 00:03:22,298
You sure we can't take you
to a strip club?

60
00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:24,622
No, if I wanna see a naked dancing man

61
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:27,390
I just flush the toilet
while Leonard's in the shower. (Chuckles)

62
00:03:31,295 --> 00:03:32,296
- Hi.
- Hey.

63
00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:35,132
I know we're not making a fuss, but,

64
00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:37,385
in the spirit of bachelorette parties,

65
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:40,513
I made cookies
in the shape of male genitals.

66
00:03:42,807 --> 00:03:44,809
You really didn't have to...
Whoa!

67
00:03:47,103 --> 00:03:48,604
That is anatomic.

68
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,690
Thank you. The veins are gummy worms.

69
00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:58,906
Oh, look, Jewish and gentile.

70
00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:02,827
I had extra dough.

71
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:04,745
(Phone chimes)

72
00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:08,103
Oh, that's Leonard.
He said they're about to cross the border.

73
00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:10,167
I hope the boys don't get too crazy
in Mexico.

74
00:04:10,543 --> 00:04:12,336
Oh, yeah, right, lock up your daughters

75
00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:16,090
or Sheldon might lecture them about
the north American free trade agreement.

76
00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:19,760
Boy, that was a long night for me.

77
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,181
Uh-oh.

78
00:04:24,348 --> 00:04:26,767
According to this Mexican customs website,

79
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:31,397
visitors may not bring more than
five laser discs, 20 compact discs

80
00:04:31,564 --> 00:04:33,357
or 12 vhs tapes.

81
00:04:35,151 --> 00:04:37,319
We don't have any of those.

82
00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:39,071
How can you be sure?

83
00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:42,032
Uh, vhs was king when
feynman drove this Van.

84
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:44,010
And for all we know,
there are hidden compartments

85
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,245
lousy with Jane Fonda workout videos.

86
00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:49,290
If there was a hidden compartment,

87
00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:51,459
don't you think
you'd be stuffed in it by now?

88
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,547
Are we all up-to-date
on our yellow fever inoculations?

89
00:04:57,381 --> 00:04:59,842
You don't need a yellow fever shot
to go to Mexico.

90
00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:01,594
You can never be too careful.

91
00:05:01,844 --> 00:05:03,846
I got one last year
before I went to epcot.

92
00:05:07,725 --> 00:05:09,477
So, penny, how's married life?

93
00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:10,728
Oh, it's good.

94
00:05:10,895 --> 00:05:12,575
Just wish Leonard
would work up the courage

95
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,440
to tell Sheldon he's moving in here.

96
00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:16,585
You guys still aren't living together?

97
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,736
We are, I mean, he sleeps here,

98
00:05:18,903 --> 00:05:21,322
but it's only a matter of time
before Sheldon has a bad dream

99
00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:24,700
and tries to climb into bed
with the Leonard-shaped pile of pillows.

100
00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:29,163
Speaking of Sheldon,
how's single life treating you?

101
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:32,416
Fine, I guess. I've been focusing on me.

102
00:05:32,917 --> 00:05:34,557
I was thinking about
changing my wardrobe.

103
00:05:34,627 --> 00:05:35,961
- Yes!
- Good for you!

104
00:05:37,755 --> 00:05:40,090
But then I decided
I don't wanna go changing who I am

105
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:41,717
just because of some man.

106
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,260
- Yes.
- Good for you.

107
00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:48,599
You know, it is normal to wanna change
your look after a breakup.

108
00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:51,268
Actually, I was thinking
of making one small change.

109
00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:52,579
- Your sweater?
- Your glasses?

110
00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:53,854
- Your hair?
- Your shoes?

111
00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:56,649
Piercing my ears.

112
00:05:58,150 --> 00:05:59,401
You really never had that done?

113
00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:02,988
My mom said pierced ears were for whores,
pirates and genies.

114
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,701
Okay. Well, you're a grown woman now.

115
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:11,455
I know, but Sheldon had this clause
in the relationship agreement

116
00:06:11,622 --> 00:06:14,667
forbidding cosmetic surgery
unless it's to look like a klingon.

117
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:18,807
We'll take you to the mail to get it done.

118
00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:20,214
Why? I can do it right here.

119
00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:22,359
- Really? You have a piercing gun?
- Penny: No.

120
00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:25,303
All you need is a needle and an ice cube.
I've done it like a dozen times.

121
00:06:25,928 --> 00:06:28,597
- Oh, I don't know.
- Oh, come on. I'll be gentle.

122
00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:30,516
Let me take your ear virginity.

123
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,562
This party's weird.

124
00:06:38,274 --> 00:06:41,235
Hey, watch your speed.
I hear Mexican police target tourists.

125
00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:43,737
Oh, not a problem. If anything goes down,

126
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,698
we just put Koothrappali
in the driver's seat

127
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,533
and slap a sombrero on his head.

128
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:52,413
Dude, how many races
can you offend in a single breath?

129
00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:55,165
I don't know.
Have you watched the Olympics with me?

130
00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:59,646
Sheldon, can you believe that
we're driving in a Van that was owned

131
00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:02,673
by one of the greatest scientific minds
of the twentieth century?

132
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,675
It's like the Batmobile. (Chuckles)

133
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,302
If Batman was real.

134
00:07:06,969 --> 00:07:09,179
And a physicist. And his car wasn't cool.

135
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:12,349
It is extraordinary.

136
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,811
Perhaps some of his mojo
will rub offon us.

137
00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:19,607
Maybe between this and his beach house,
we'll be inspired to greatness.

138
00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:23,235
I usually don't put too much stock
in charms and talismans,

139
00:07:23,402 --> 00:07:28,574
however even I must admit feeling Richard
feynman's butt dent cupping my own bottom.

140
00:07:28,741 --> 00:07:29,742
(Inhales sharply)

141
00:07:30,159 --> 00:07:32,536
That does get the creative juices flowing.

142
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:38,083
Hey, I have to return this Van.
Keep your creative juices in your pants.

143
00:07:38,334 --> 00:07:39,335
(Tire rattling)

144
00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:42,755
- What was that?
- I think it's a tire.

145
00:07:43,047 --> 00:07:44,715
What if it's bandidos shooting at us?

146
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:46,884
What if we get kidnapped?

147
00:07:47,051 --> 00:07:48,251
What if we end up in a factory

148
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:51,263
making Bart Simpson pifiatas
for the rest of our lives?

149
00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:53,932
It's the tire.

150
00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:57,061
- Leonard?
- What?

151
00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:59,188
I'm getting too old for this crud.

152
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:06,737
Amy, I noticed your status still says
"in a relationship" on Facebook.

153
00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:10,908
You're right. I should probably let
all of my Facebook friends know.

154
00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:14,495
Penny, I'm no longer in a relationship.

155
00:08:16,664 --> 00:08:18,184
Did you change yours to "married" yet?

156
00:08:18,791 --> 00:08:21,794
Uh, no, not yet. There's still
a few people I haven't told personally.

157
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:25,631
- Who?
- Oh, just my parents and my entire family.

158
00:08:25,798 --> 00:08:26,799
(Clears throat)

159
00:08:27,383 --> 00:08:28,550
-What? _why?

160
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:30,094
Well, I don't wanna hurt my dad.

161
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:33,180
You know, he always wanted to dance
with his daughter at her wedding.

162
00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:34,667
What about your sister's wedding?

163
00:08:34,807 --> 00:08:37,309
They started to but then her water broke.
(Scoffs)

164
00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:41,939
You know, if he finds out we eloped,
that's gonna break his heart.

165
00:08:42,106 --> 00:08:44,024
How long do you think
you can keep it from him?

166
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,527
Yeah, isn't it gonna get worse
the longer you wait?

167
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:49,655
Well, not necessarily.
You know, dad's not getting any younger.

168
00:08:49,822 --> 00:08:51,323
So if I wait long enough,

169
00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:54,535
I'll just tell him he walked me
down the aisle and it was magical.

170
00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:01,583
When did you learn how to change a tire?

171
00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:04,670
Every self-respecting gentleman
should know how,

172
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:08,090
in case he comes across a damsel
in distress by the side of the road.

173
00:09:09,425 --> 00:09:13,303
If I see one scorpion, I'm getting on
someone's shoulders and never coming down.

174
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,305
And there's your damsel.

175
00:09:15,514 --> 00:09:16,515
(Both chuckle)

176
00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:20,227
Wow, this one's really stuck.

177
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,146
Are you turning it the right way?

178
00:09:22,813 --> 00:09:25,816
No, I took the other four off
and when I got to this one, I thought,

179
00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:28,026
"I'm in a rut, let's shake things up."

180
00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:30,404
Here, let me try.

181
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:33,198
(Grunting)

182
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,620
You're right.
It doesn't turn the other way.

183
00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,173
There you go, you're all done.

184
00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:50,758
That wasn't so bad.

185
00:09:51,175 --> 00:09:53,302
(Gasps) Nice.

186
00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:57,181
Boy, if my mom could see me now,
she'd lock me in the sin closet.

187
00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:01,643
That's a joke, right?

188
00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:05,105
Actually, the joke was on her, I could
still see the TV through the slats.

189
00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,651
I'm starting to see why you and your mom
aren't very close.

190
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,863
Bet she'd still tell her
if she got married.

191
00:10:13,155 --> 00:10:14,740
You're not gonna let this go, are you?

192
00:10:14,907 --> 00:10:16,627
Well, it's kind of sad
that they don't know.

193
00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:18,035
I mean, they love Leonard.

194
00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:20,704
Fine, you want me to call, I'll call.

195
00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:25,250
- (Sighs) Why am I so nervous?
- It's understandable.

196
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:27,949
Amy was afraid to tell her mom
she broke up with Sheldon.

197
00:10:28,212 --> 00:10:31,632
Yeah. How did it go? Did she make you
crawl into the breaking-up drawer?

198
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:36,720
Uh, well, actually, to be honest,
I haven't told her yet.

199
00:10:37,513 --> 00:10:38,833
You've been giving me a hard time

200
00:10:38,889 --> 00:10:40,809
and you haven't even told
your mom about Sheldon?

201
00:10:41,517 --> 00:10:43,203
I'm feeling a little dizzy
from all the blood loss.

202
00:10:43,227 --> 00:10:44,787
I don't know what you're talking about.

203
00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:47,105
(Sighs)

204
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:50,317
Fine. I'm calling home, but when I'm done,
you're calling your mother.

205
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:55,072
Easy for you to say. You never had
to watch 60 minutes like this.

206
00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:59,576
- Hey, daddy.
- Hey, slugger.

207
00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:02,704
- How's my girl?
- Uh, good. Is mom around?

208
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:04,957
Ah, she took your brother
out to celebrate.

209
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:07,584
He just got his tenth
one-month sober chip.

210
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,505
Yeah, she's gonna make him
a little necklace.

211
00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:14,291
Okay. I'll talk to her later.

212
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,141
Uh, dad, there's something
I need to tell you.

213
00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:19,179
(Inhales deeply)
Leonard and I got married.

214
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,598
You did? When?

215
00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:23,445
Last week.
I'm sorry, I should've told you.

216
00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:24,893
It was a spur-of-the-moment thing.

217
00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:27,396
I feel terrible.
Please don't be too disappointed.

218
00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:29,773
Are you happy?

219
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,775
Very. Leonard is so great.

220
00:11:32,568 --> 00:11:33,944
Well, then, I'm happy for you.

221
00:11:34,403 --> 00:11:36,780
Aw, thank you, daddy. That means so much.

222
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,449
Well, I understand it's hard
to tell someone something

223
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:41,410
if you think it's gonna upset 'em.

224
00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:43,954
It is. You're the best dad ever.

225
00:11:44,496 --> 00:11:46,456
Yeah, uh, hold that thought.

226
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,835
I've been sitting on a little news myself.

227
00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:51,753
Well, what is it? (Chuckles)

228
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,715
Oh, you know that rototiller
I got for the tractor?

229
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:56,884
- No.
- Oh, you should see it.

230
00:11:57,301 --> 00:11:59,636
It is a beautiful piece of machinery.

231
00:12:00,304 --> 00:12:01,847
Anyway, uh...

232
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,266
I backed over your pet pig with it.

233
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:07,728
Moondance?

234
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:10,147
Yeah, he's not dancing anymore.

235
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,150
You killed my pig?

236
00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:16,236
I did not kill him.
The vet took care of that.

237
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,117
Ten, 12 months ago.

238
00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:24,953
You didn't tell me for a year?

239
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,331
Well, apple doesn't fall
far from the tree, does it?

240
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:30,709
Uh, love you, slugger. Gotta go.

241
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:36,006
Okay, Amy, your turn.

242
00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:41,219
(All grunting)

243
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,513
(Breathing rapidly)

244
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,185
What are you doing?

245
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:51,021
It's called lamaze breathing.
It helps you push.

246
00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:55,525
Great. He's pushing with his uterus.

247
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,238
There's gotta be
a smarter way of removing it.

248
00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:02,699
Yeah, this is nothing more
than a physics problem.

249
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,369
Right. Archimedes once said,

250
00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:08,288
"give me a lever long enough
and a fulcrum on which to place it,

251
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:09,915
"and I shall move the world."

252
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:15,671
Of course, all we need is to find stuff
to make a lever big enough to fix this.

253
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:19,383
Exactly. I'll bet there's something
around here that could be a lever.

254
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:22,052
Let's see. A lever, a lever.

255
00:13:22,219 --> 00:13:25,263
Everybody hold on. Let's take this problem
one step at a time.

256
00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:29,184
First, we need to decide whether
we're calling it "ieever" or "lever."

257
00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:34,731
And the sooner we decide it's "ieever,"
the sooner we can roll up our sleeves

258
00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:37,109
and not "slehves" and get to work.

259
00:13:38,402 --> 00:13:39,861
We're gonna be here "for-eever."

260
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:44,741
Thanks a lot, guys.

261
00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:46,868
- What did we do?
- Before I made that call,

262
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:49,746
my pig was alive and happy
and rolling around in the mud.

263
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:53,667
Now he's illegally buried in our backyard
next to my great-grandmother.

264
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,629
Really? They didn't eat him?

265
00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:03,969
No, he was a beloved member of the family.

266
00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:06,304
The breakfast meat family?

267
00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:11,935
It's not funny. You're up.
Call your mother.

268
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:15,022
Oh, maybe later.
Your pig dying made me sad.

269
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:19,443
- And a little hungry.
- Phone. Now.

270
00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:22,195
Okay. Okay. Fine.

271
00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:28,368
- Hi, mom.
- Try dialing.

272
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,747
You saw that, huh?

273
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,378
Hi, mom. How are you doing?

274
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:41,256
Oh, good. How's work?

275
00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:43,675
That's nice.

276
00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:46,803
I'm fine. Hey, listen.
I've been meaning to ask

277
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:50,307
how come aunt Doe and aunt Florence
never got along?

278
00:14:50,474 --> 00:14:51,933
Okay. That's it, give me that.

279
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,995
Amy broke up with Sheldon,
she got her ears pierced

280
00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:55,771
and she made us eat penis cookies.

281
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:02,819
Hang on. She wants to talk to you.

282
00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:09,367
I don't think the lever's working.

283
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:10,994
What makes you say that?

284
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,502
There's gotta be something else
we can try.

285
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:22,464
Well, if this was Star Trek,
we could use a phaser to blast it off.

286
00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:24,341
Oh, it's too broad of a beam.

287
00:15:24,508 --> 00:15:27,636
You'd need something more precise,
like Superman's heat vision.

288
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:31,515
Ooh, the green lantern's ring could make
a big green hand that unscrews it.

289
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:34,422
Well, if you need a green hand,
why not just use the hqu?

290
00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:37,521
Oh, please. The hqu would never get
across the border with that temper.

291
00:15:39,231 --> 00:15:41,650
Guys, excuse me,
not that calling one of the avengers

292
00:15:41,817 --> 00:15:45,403
isn't a perfectly reasonable choice,
but we're scientists.

293
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:48,198
Don't you think we can figure this out
using actual science?

294
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:52,077
Yes. We could use science,
but it's your bachelor party. Lighten up.

295
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:56,456
(Clattering)

296
00:16:02,254 --> 00:16:04,005
(Tapping and clapping rhythmically)

297
00:16:07,843 --> 00:16:11,721
(Singing)
We will, we will, percussive shock you

298
00:16:13,557 --> 00:16:17,727
both: (Singing) We will, we will,
percussive shock you

299
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,565
buddy, you're a boy, make a big noise

300
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:24,734
playin' in the street
gonna be a big man some day

301
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:27,404
you got mud on yo' face, you big disgrace

302
00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:30,448
kickin' your can all over the place

303
00:16:35,579 --> 00:16:38,039
I have an eidetic memory,
sometimes it's a curse.

304
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:41,668
(Match strikes)

305
00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:47,299
I had no idea tortilla chips
were such a good fuel source.

306
00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:50,135
They're basically pure hydrocarbons
soaked in fat.

307
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,721
Let's hope the lug nut expands.

308
00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:55,265
What if that burning food
attracts animals?

309
00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:57,434
We have plenty of food for the animals.

310
00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:00,562
- We do?
- Yep, six-foot wiener in a flash t-shirt.

311
00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:03,732
That's not very nice.

312
00:17:03,899 --> 00:17:05,567
It's a bachelor party. Lighten up.

313
00:17:08,737 --> 00:17:09,738
(Electricity crackling)

314
00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:13,617
Oh, what is that awful smell?

315
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:17,412
It's burning salsa. I'm hoping the acidity
and salinity combined with electricity

316
00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:19,080
will corrode the lug nut off.

317
00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:21,291
What an innovative solution.

318
00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:24,794
Perhaps I don't give your mit education
enough credit.

319
00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:27,088
Yeah, I saw it on mythbusters.
(Ch uckles)

320
00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:31,134
(Clattering)

321
00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:34,137
All right.

322
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:36,806
This rust combined with the aluminum

323
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:39,017
- recovered from the Van is now thermite.
- (Sighs)

324
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:42,270
Great.
Couple pinches ought to do the trick.

325
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:44,731
Is that enough to melt the lug nut?

326
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,816
Well, let's start small.
We can always add more.

327
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:49,361
You put up a good fight, lug nut.

328
00:17:49,653 --> 00:17:53,281
But you've met your match.

329
00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:54,991
(Raj chuckles)

330
00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,343
Hey, look. The lug nut's off.

331
00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:31,027
What? What are you doing back?

332
00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:36,408
We got a flat
and couldn't get the tire off.

333
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:39,536
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Thank you.

334
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:41,538
Yeah, if it makes you feel any better,

335
00:18:41,705 --> 00:18:44,541
I pierced Amy's ears
and her mom made her sit in my closet.

336
00:18:49,713 --> 00:18:51,381
We blew up feynman's Van.

337
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,883
My dad killed my pig with his tractor.

338
00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:56,344
I spent the night in Mexico with Sheldon.

339
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:57,887
You win.

340
00:19:30,045 --> 00:19:31,046
English - sdh