1 00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:08,050 - This is an easy one. You love this guy. - Me. 2 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:12,763 Come on. He's an underappreciated genius... 3 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:15,265 Still think it's me. 4 00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:19,561 It's not you. Now think. There's a car named after him. 5 00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:22,689 Of course there is. The mini Cooper, because it's me. 6 00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:27,277 How about this? 7 00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:29,154 He's a poor man's Sheldon Cooper. 8 00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:30,572 Oh, Tesla. 9 00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:33,617 - Hi. - Hey, how'd it go? 10 00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:37,412 Not fun. The doctor shoved a camera up into my sinuses. 11 00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:41,375 Yeah, I watched. It was like the scary boat tunnel in Willy wonka. 12 00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:45,712 - They figure out what's wrong? - It's a deviated septum. 13 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,257 The surgery is simple. He's gonna do it next week. 14 00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,175 Why would you have surgery? 15 00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:51,843 Because I can't breathe. 16 00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,471 And I snore, I get sinus infections... 17 00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:56,974 Back off, he's all mine. 18 00:00:57,140 --> 00:01:01,061 You don't have a life-threatening condition. Why would you take the risk of surgery? 19 00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:05,023 Sheldon, it's a routine procedure. I've heard you complain about his snoring. 20 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:08,860 Yes, for the first five or six years, but I've gotten used to it. 21 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:10,862 It helps me sleep. 22 00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:13,532 He's like my mucus-powered white-noise machine. 23 00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:18,078 Sheldon, I'm gonna get the surgery. It's no big deal, end of story. 24 00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:20,581 - Very well, I'm done talking about it. - Thank you. 25 00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:23,166 - I believe it was your turn in the game. - Okay. 26 00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:28,797 Let's see. Oh, this person is most famous... 27 00:01:28,964 --> 00:01:33,135 For never having gotten his nose mutilated with elective surgery... 28 00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:35,596 And never living his life in the shadows... 29 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:38,724 As a hideous disfigured freak. 30 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,976 I think you could give a better clue. 31 00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:45,272 I don't. I'm not even sure if that's a person or a typo. 32 00:02:11,590 --> 00:02:13,967 [Snoring] 33 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,564 Okay, why? 34 00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:30,692 I'm listening to you snore. 35 00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:33,362 I'm wondering how I'll ever sleep without it. 36 00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:37,157 If it helps you sleep, then why are you sitting here... 37 00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:40,243 Staring at me like the albino boogeyman? 38 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,497 Really, Leonard, insults? 39 00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:47,542 After I spent two hours in your closet waiting for you to fall asleep? 40 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:53,340 - What's your problem? - If the surgery is successful... 41 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,175 The snoring is gone. 42 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:57,552 And if you die during surgery... 43 00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:00,931 The snoring is gone. 44 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:05,602 Sounds like either way I finally get some rest. 45 00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:09,189 I have to be honest with you, Leonard. I'm truly worried. 46 00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:12,067 Okay, I told you, there's nothing to worry about. 47 00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:16,154 I've been doing some research, and I've learned that 1 in 700,000 people... 48 00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,407 Die from general anesthesia. 49 00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:25,956 Buddy, do you realize that also means 699,999 people don't die? 50 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,625 I suppose that's true. 51 00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:33,797 You're such a glass half-full kind of guy. 52 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:37,217 I'm going to miss that. 53 00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:43,306 Oh, so my parents' 40th anniversary is coming up... 54 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:45,434 And I can't think of a thing to get. 55 00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:50,480 Damn. Can you imagine being married to someone for 40 years? 56 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,277 Not anymore. 57 00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:02,033 Anyway, any ideas on a gift? 58 00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:04,202 What are some of the things they like? 59 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,663 They liked going to the Mumbai symphony... 60 00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:09,374 But last year, my mom thought they were phoning it in. 61 00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:13,044 Then my dad said, based on their love life, she should know about phoning it in. 62 00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:16,673 - He said that? - They weren't speaking... 63 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,592 So he had a servant say it to her. 64 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,678 Oh, maybe I could make a gift for them. 65 00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:26,308 I know how much you guys love the coasters I made for you. 66 00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:29,936 They're yours in the divorce. 67 00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,318 Hey, what are you working on? 68 00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:39,112 Remember when I said if you went through with surgery... 69 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,698 There was a 1 in 700,000 chance of dying? 70 00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:42,908 [Sighs] 71 00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:45,827 - Yeah. - Well, I've been crunching the numbers... 72 00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:48,955 And so far, I've gotten your probability of death... 73 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:53,043 All the way to a sphincter-tightening 1 in 300. 74 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:59,007 Great timing. My "check sphincter" light just went on. 75 00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:02,260 Leonard, what if you have an allergic reaction... 76 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:05,472 - To the surgeon's latex gloves? - I'm not allergic to latex. 77 00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:08,767 Then why don't you wear the gloves I bought to do the dishes? 78 00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:12,229 For the same reason I don't wear the apron or the hairnet. 79 00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:15,148 Fine. What about epilepsy? 80 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,983 I don't have epilepsy either. 81 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,402 No, you don't, but the surgeon might. Hm? 82 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:22,739 And your carotid artery is just one shaky scalpel away... 83 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:26,451 From becoming the dancing fountain at Disneyland. 84 00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:29,830 Sheldon, do you realize that driving is riskier than surgery? 85 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:33,083 I do. I have the drive to the hospital right here. 86 00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:37,003 That is, if you make it to the car without falling down the stairs. 87 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:40,006 And don't expect me to carry you, I do that enough in life. 88 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:44,261 Buddy, I get that you're worried about me, and I appreciate that... 89 00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,096 But I'm not going to die. 90 00:05:46,263 --> 00:05:47,722 You don't know that. 91 00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:50,976 I do know that it won't be from an asteroid strike. 92 00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:53,812 You know who else said that? 93 00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:57,816 Every cocky t. Rex currently swimming around in the gas tank of your car. 94 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,987 If there was an asteroid strike, wouldn't you die too? 95 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:05,782 I don't know. I'm smart and scrappy. I think I'd find a way. 96 00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:11,037 Tell you what, the surgery's not for a week. I'll think about it. 97 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,665 Thank you. And while you're thinking about it... 98 00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:16,835 If you have the surgery in Nicaragua during monsoon season... 99 00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:18,712 I can guarantee your death. 100 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,887 Yes. Okay. 101 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,930 I understand. 102 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:31,892 Of course, yes. I'll call you tomorrow. 103 00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:36,897 So I found this fencing school in Burbank... 104 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:40,317 That has a jedi class. 105 00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:45,113 If you're cool being the only adults there, they said they are. 106 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:47,949 Dude, my parents just split up. 107 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,744 - What? - Uh, that was my dad on the phone. 108 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,537 He moved out. 109 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:56,207 Oh, my god. I'm sorry. 110 00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:58,585 If you're not up to it, we don't have to go out. 111 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:01,129 - We can just hang here. - No, it's fine. 112 00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:04,758 It's not that big a deal. As long as they're happy, I'm happy. 113 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,177 And when I get to see them for the holidays... 114 00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:10,680 I get to celebrate diwali twice, one at each house. 115 00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:15,602 That's double the diwali. 116 00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,647 - You sure you're okay? - I'm okay. 117 00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:20,690 - You don't look okay. - How can I be okay? 118 00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:22,233 I come from a broken home. 119 00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:28,198 Doctor said I should be out of surgery by 10. 120 00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:33,912 Okay. And Sheldon really believes we're at a public swimming pool? 121 00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:37,624 He was so busy figuring out how many parts per million of urine... 122 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:41,002 We'd be floating around in, he didn't even question it. 123 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:44,297 Eighteen parts per million. 124 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,884 And he's still doing it. 125 00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:50,512 Don't worry about it. I'm happy to take you to work. 126 00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:51,972 Well, thank you. 127 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:55,475 And Leonard never lets me have French toast sticks in the car. 128 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,602 I can't have syrupy fingers... 129 00:07:57,769 --> 00:08:01,231 But he can do the backstroke in a toilet bowl. 130 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,025 It's nice they're getting exercise. 131 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,779 Although, now that I think about it... 132 00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:12,075 Leonard would never go swimming in public without his swim shirt. 133 00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:16,663 - I'm sure he brought it. - No, but last year at magic mountain... 134 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:20,750 He got such a bad sunburn, we had to cut him out of it. 135 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,254 He probably got a new one. Finish your breakfast. 136 00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:28,675 There's an entire section of my dashboard that doesn't have any syrup on it. 137 00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:31,720 You're acting odd. Why? 138 00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,764 I'm odd all the time, everyone knows that. 139 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:39,227 Just last night I tried to see how many fava beans I could fit in my mouth. 140 00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:43,064 - Tell me the truth. - Twenty-eig ht. 141 00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:47,444 -Come on. —fifty-six. 142 00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:51,156 Amy. What's going on? 143 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:52,741 All right. 144 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,618 Don't get upset... 145 00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:58,329 But an earlier appointment opened up for Leonard... 146 00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,999 And he's getting the surgery right now. 147 00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:06,588 I see. 148 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:13,595 Take me to Leonard. 149 00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:17,307 - Just go to work. He'll be fine. - Amy, he's my best friend. 150 00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:20,018 And if you don't take me, I'm going there anyway. 151 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:22,812 Fine. 152 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:27,108 - It's sweet that you care about him so much. - I do. 153 00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:29,903 I couldn't forgive myself if something happened to him... 154 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:33,031 And I wasn't at his bedside to say, "I told you so." 155 00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:41,039 [Woman speaking indistinctly over pa] 156 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:49,714 - Hello. - We had a really nice swim. 157 00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:50,965 Oh, stop it. 158 00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:55,553 I assume this medical center's treated the burns on your bottom... 159 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,056 From the recent pants fire. 160 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:02,769 - Because I'm a liar, liar? - That's for the fire marshal to determine. 161 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,774 - You had to tell him? - He wore me down. 162 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:11,861 And I was distracted. He has on extra baby powder today. 163 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,240 - Is he okay? - He's still in surgery. 164 00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:16,616 [Sheldon sighs] 165 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:20,662 - Very well. - He's gonna be all right. 166 00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:23,123 That is sticky. 167 00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,877 Let's talk about something other than the surgery. 168 00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:31,214 That's a good idea. Penny, did you and Leonard... 169 00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:33,591 Ever discuss funeral arrangements? 170 00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:37,804 I think she meant something a little happier. 171 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:42,225 I suppose we can try to make it a celebration... 172 00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:44,352 But he died so young. 173 00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:48,314 [Knock on door] 174 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,899 - Knock, knock. - Hi. 175 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:55,196 - Hey, what brings you guys by? - Oh, muffin much. 176 00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:59,033 Told you, not funny. 177 00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:04,706 Well, he's just not laughing because he's feeling blueberry. 178 00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:08,209 Tough crowd. 179 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:13,840 - I'm sorry. This is very sweet, thanks. - So how you doing? 180 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:17,427 Better. I guess the news just hit me a lot harder than I expected. 181 00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:21,347 Well, of course. I would be devastated if my parents split up. 182 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,684 Why? Your father barely speaks to your mother. Heh. 183 00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:27,979 Well, at least he stuck around. Not like your dad, who just took off. 184 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:31,065 As you can see, we're here to cheer you up. 185 00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:35,653 Sorry, raj. Do you have any sense of what happened with your folks? 186 00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:39,657 I think over time, they started to resent each other. 187 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:42,827 Instead of talking about things, they kept it bottled up... 188 00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:45,163 And the hate just grew. 189 00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:48,374 It's a shame they spent all that time unhappy... 190 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:53,463 But sometimes, there's muffin you can do about it. 191 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,466 You get it, right? 192 00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,639 Well, it's nice you got him that. 193 00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,349 Oh, this isn't for Leonard. No. 194 00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:06,726 Amy bought it for me. 195 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:12,190 He stubbed his toe on the revolving door on the way in. 196 00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,943 You know those confounded things make me dizzy. 197 00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:18,112 Who told you to keep going around? 198 00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:21,783 There was a large plant in the lobby. It kept looking like the outside. 199 00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:25,578 When Leonard comes out, he's not gonna feel great... 200 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,705 So please don't give him a hard time. 201 00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,540 Penny has a good point. 202 00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:32,919 This is like the man in the supermarket with the goiter on his neck. 203 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:36,172 Whatever you're thinking, just keep it to yourself. 204 00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:39,676 It was like a grapefruit. 205 00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:41,344 And I'm sure he knew that... 206 00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:44,555 Before you held a grapefruit up next to it. 207 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,641 Well, I'm not making any promises. 208 00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:49,477 Not only did Leonard take what I feel is an unnecessary risk... 209 00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:51,896 - He deceived me. - The reason he deceived you... 210 00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:55,650 - Is you were a pain in the ass. - The reason I was being a pain in the b... 211 00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:58,194 Is because I was worried and no one else was. 212 00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:02,115 - Really? You won't even say a? - You bet your sweet b I won't. 213 00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:06,160 Obviously I care about Leonard. I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with him. 214 00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,870 And I'm not? 215 00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:10,790 [Rumbling] 216 00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:15,420 - It's an earthquake. I knew it. - Sheldon, it was just a little tremor. 217 00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:18,089 A little tremor that turns routine sinus surgery... 218 00:13:18,256 --> 00:13:20,758 Into a frontal lobotomy. 219 00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,930 Oh, I don't care for this at all. 220 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:28,099 I need to see he's okay. 221 00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:31,246 - Sheldon, you can't go back there. - Sheldon: Try and stop me. 222 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:32,687 [Thuds] 223 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:38,026 Amy: Are you okay? Sheldon: Why didn't you stop me? 224 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,655 Can I tell you something? 225 00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:44,907 This whole thing with raj's parents... 226 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:47,577 Just got me a little worried about us. 227 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:50,079 What are you talking about? We're fine. 228 00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:54,125 And raj's parents probably split up because of raj. 229 00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:55,793 What? 230 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,671 They always say the children aren't to blame, but... 231 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,965 Heh, come on. 232 00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:07,472 I'm not joking, Howie. You heard what he said about his parents. 233 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:09,891 It was the little things they kept bottled up. 234 00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:12,060 I don't want that to happen to us. 235 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,228 How can I convince you it won't? 236 00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:17,815 Well, is there anything about me you're keeping inside? 237 00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:21,527 Heh. I'm not answering that. It's a trap. 238 00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,282 So there are things you don't like. 239 00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:29,035 And here I am in the trap. 240 00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:34,832 You just keep talking, I'm gonna chew my leg off. 241 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,961 Just tell me one thing that bothers you and I promise I won't get mad. 242 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,923 Okay. The truth is... 243 00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:46,636 Sometimes you're too beautiful. 244 00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:50,264 Howie, be serious. 245 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,141 Okay, okay. 246 00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:57,021 I really don't like how your wings poke me when we sleep... 247 00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:59,357 Because you're an angel. 248 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:04,278 Okay, fine. Maybe it was a bad idea. 249 00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:08,658 I just don't think the secret to a happy marriage is to criticize each other. 250 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:12,954 Although, there are ways to improve our communication. 251 00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:15,998 One thing I learned when I was in couples therapy was... 252 00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:19,252 - Who were you in couples therapy with? - Not important. 253 00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:23,089 - Was it your mom? - Not important. 254 00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:25,716 It was your mom. 255 00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:29,053 Anyway, the therapist had us tell each other... 256 00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:31,597 What we loved about one another. 257 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:35,017 Oh, that's so sweet. I wanna do that. 258 00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:37,019 Okay. 259 00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:41,315 Okay. Um, I love that you make me laugh. 260 00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:42,942 Thank you. 261 00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:47,947 And I love that you're strong andindependent 262 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:51,033 and yet, I still love when you hold a door for me. 263 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,370 I love that I'm kind of a slob around here... 264 00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:57,707 And, heh-heh, you're okay with that. 265 00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:08,634 And I love that I work and do all the cleaning and you're okay with that. 266 00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:13,014 See, I am. Isn't this great? 267 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:19,353 Come on, smile. This is gonna be my Christmas card. 268 00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:27,195 [In nasally voice] You know, this is all your fault. 269 00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:30,406 [In nasally voice] How is it my fault? 270 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,284 I told you not to get the surgery. 271 00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:37,288 Okay, first of all, the surgery was a success. 272 00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:39,165 Secondly, I didn't want you there. 273 00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:44,795 Wow. I don't know which hurts worse, my nose or my heart. 274 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,798 I'm done speaking to you. 275 00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:50,426 Don't be like that. You two need to talk this out. 276 00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:52,887 Yeah, because you sound really funny. 277 00:16:53,054 --> 00:16:54,347 [Penny laughing] 278 00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:58,100 I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the surgery... 279 00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,144 But you were worried about nothing. 280 00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:02,021 Oh, you're hardly out of the woods. 281 00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:05,399 You still run the risk of infection, a blood clot... 282 00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:10,238 The possibility that an inattentive surgeon let a barn spider lay eggs in your nose. 283 00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:15,535 The minute you sneeze web, I'm moving out. 284 00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:20,456 I never thought I'd say these words, but come on, nose spider! 285 00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:24,168 You were so panicked Leonard was gonna die... 286 00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:27,421 - You'll never leave him. - Sheldon will move out eventually. 287 00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,674 Yeah, once he figures out how to work a door. 288 00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:35,012 I was not panicked. And I am not overly attached to Leonard. 289 00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:38,057 You were so worried that you smashed your face trying to check on me. 290 00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:40,851 You love me. 291 00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:45,690 Tell me those aren't the words of a man with a spider eating his brain. 292 00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:48,442 Amy, you're a neuroscientist. 293 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:51,028 Crack his skull open, spray some raid in there. 294 00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:56,117 I love that you take pride in your looks. 295 00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:58,119 Even when I have to pee... 296 00:17:58,286 --> 00:18:01,330 And you're in there spending an hour on your hair. 297 00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:05,751 I love that you're too good to pee in the kitchen sink. 298 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,879 I love that you have the confidence to speak... 299 00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:11,924 Even without giving it an ounce of thought. 300 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,595 I love how your hair is always on the soap. 301 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:18,514 It's like washing myself with a hamster. 302 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,141 [Knock on door] 303 00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:23,728 Hey, guys. Sorry I am so late. 304 00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:26,063 I was on the phone with my mother. 305 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,024 - How is she? - Pretty good. 306 00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:30,234 She bought the book eat, pray, love... 307 00:18:30,401 --> 00:18:33,446 And used it to set my father's Mercedes on fire. 308 00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:38,784 So, what's up with you guys? 309 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:41,662 We're just saying all the things we love about each other. 310 00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:44,332 Oh, like you and I did at couples therapy. 311 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:57,053 - What'd you get? - Oh, I ordered it before your surgery. 312 00:18:57,595 --> 00:19:00,514 It's the um I was going to put you in. 313 00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:04,393 Okay, that's morbid. Send it back. 314 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:08,439 I can't send it back. I had it engraved. 315 00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:12,151 "Here lie the ashes of Leonard hofstadter. 316 00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:16,405 He thought he was right, but his roommate knew better." 317 00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:18,574 [Leonard chuckles] 318 00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:21,952 That's funny. Boy, I'm gonna miss these painkillers. 319 00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,498 Hey, why did you get two? 320 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,501 - "I'm with stupid." - Oh, that one's mine. 321 00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:58,906 [English - us - sdh]