1 00:00:03,378 --> 00:00:05,464 Oh, my god, I love this chicken. 2 00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:10,427 Oh, you know what they say, "the best things in life are free." 3 00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:13,096 You're right. I eat your food a lot. How about this? 4 00:00:13,305 --> 00:00:15,265 You can raid my fridge any time you want. 5 00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:16,808 Oh, that's very kind of you. 6 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:20,062 Next time I have a hankering to wash down a d-cell battery... 7 00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:23,148 With a jar of old pickle juice, I'll come a-knocking. 8 00:00:24,483 --> 00:00:27,152 Hey, raj, you didn't send your rsvp in. 9 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,821 I'm supposed to ask you if you're bringing someone. 10 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,114 I'll let you know. 11 00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:33,992 Could you make it soon? There's a battle over seating. 12 00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:38,205 In one corner, Bernadette's mom. In the other three, mine. 13 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:42,000 Yeah, I hate wedding receptions. I wish the bride and groom... 14 00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:44,002 Would take a cue from bilbo Baggins. 15 00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:47,130 Slip on the ring, disappear, and everyone goes home. 16 00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:49,967 Oh, you liked professor geyser's wedding. 17 00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,469 They had a make-your-own-sundae bar. 18 00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:54,846 Oh, that was a night to remember. 19 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:58,976 Do you know, on one trip, I just had a bowl of nuts. 20 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,062 Anyway, you gotta let me know if you have a plus-one. 21 00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:04,565 If not, my mom's trying to sneak in the doctor... 22 00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,650 Who sucked the fat out of her neck. 23 00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:11,738 All right, uh, fine. 24 00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:13,907 I'm coming and I'm bringing somebody. 25 00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:15,450 Koothrappali plus one. 26 00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:18,495 - Who are you bringing? - Who are you bringing? 27 00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:20,747 He's bringing me. Who are you bringing? 28 00:01:20,956 --> 00:01:24,418 Wow, what a bunch of nosey o'donnells. 29 00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:26,753 Come on, who is it? 30 00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:30,799 I'm not telling. I'm from Asia. I'm mysterious. Deal with it. 31 00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:34,595 Howard, are you having a make-your-own-sundae bar? 32 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:36,513 Uh, I don't think so. 33 00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:39,558 Well, you should. Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. 34 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:43,270 But 100 percent of make-your-own-sundae bars end in happiness. 35 00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:15,761 - Hello, mommy, daddy. How are you? - Pretty good, can't complain. 36 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:19,097 Oh, I'm sure you can. Just give it a minute. 37 00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:21,308 Listen, uh... 38 00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:23,316 There's something I want to talk to you about. 39 00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:27,481 I wasn't ready until now but I think it's time. 40 00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:28,899 It's finally happening. 41 00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:31,401 You're coming out of the closet, aren't you? 42 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,489 We love you and we accept your alternate lifestyle. 43 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:38,784 Just keep it to yourself. 44 00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,370 No, I'm not gay. 45 00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:44,623 If anything, I'm metrosexual. 46 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,333 What's that? 47 00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:49,836 It means I like women as well as their skin-care products. 48 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:51,922 Well, if you're not coming out... 49 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,424 Why did you call us during the cricket semi-finals? 50 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:58,512 I'm tired of trying to meet someone... 51 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,515 And I think I'd like you to help me find a... 52 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,895 And just to clarify, a female wife? 53 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,109 Matchmaking. Very smart move, son. 54 00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:15,112 Much better than marrying for love. 55 00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:22,536 We married for love. 56 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,288 And it's been wonderful. 57 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,545 Quantum physics makes me so happy. 58 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,422 Yeah? I'm glad. 59 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,841 It's like looking at the universe naked. 60 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:47,060 - Hi. Guys got a minute? - Sure, what's up? 61 00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:50,188 I was thinking about Sheldon's little joke the other night... 62 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:53,650 - About me eating all your food. - Oh, that was no joke. 63 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:58,905 But I understand your confusion as I am our group's resident cutup. 64 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:02,576 I'm sorry, you are our resident cutup? 65 00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:07,956 - Prove it. - Knock-knock. 66 00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,725 - Who's there? - Interrupting physicist. 67 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:12,294 - Interrupting phys... - Muon. Ha, ha. 68 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:18,175 Anyway, I got a little residual check from my commercial. 69 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:22,345 And I thought, "how about I get the guys a little thank-you to pay them back?" 70 00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:25,056 80, Sheldon... ta-da. 71 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:30,604 A vintage, mint-in-box 1975 mego Star Trek transporter... 72 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:34,024 With real transporter action. Hot darn! 73 00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:38,153 - Where did you get that? - From Stuart at the comic-book store. 74 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:40,655 You went to the comic-book store by yourself? 75 00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,491 Yeah. It was fun. 76 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:46,077 I walked in and two different guys got asthma attacks. 77 00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:49,289 Felt pretty good. 78 00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:51,792 Well, this calls for an expression of gratitude. 79 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,628 Ooh, am I about to get a rare Sheldon Cooper hug? 80 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,963 No, not this time. Then they wouldn't be special. 81 00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:59,216 Click. Thanks, penny. 82 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,927 You're welcome. 83 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,888 Don't worry, I didn't forget about you. 84 00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:08,850 Leonard, I got you a label-maker. 85 00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:19,402 No, it's great. 86 00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:22,447 - Also, uh, mint-in-box. - Mm. 87 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:27,077 - And I got you a transporter too! - Awesome! 88 00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:33,708 Look, it was actually designed for my vintage Mr. Spock action figure. 89 00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,919 Oh, that's great. Open it and put him in there. 90 00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,879 - Open it? - No, good lord, no. 91 00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,173 Why? They're just toys. 92 00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:42,342 - Collectibles. - They're mint-in-box. 93 00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:44,135 Can't we open one up and take a look? 94 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,179 - Aah! - No, don't! 95 00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:49,474 Once you open the box, it loses its value. 96 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:53,728 Yeah, yeah. My mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity. 97 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:59,234 Gotta tell you, it was a lot more fun taking it out and playing with it. 98 00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:04,531 You sure you want us here when you meet this woman? 99 00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:08,869 Oh, yes. In my culture, it's expected to have a chaperone to oversee a first date. 100 00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:12,205 I want to make a good impression. No offense, but with you here... 101 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:14,583 I look like I'm 6'2". 102 00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:19,379 The nuns always chaperoned the dances at my high school. 103 00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:22,173 They used to make us leave room between us for the holy spirit. 104 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,425 Rajesh: Hmm. 105 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:27,971 Hindus do the same thing. Except they leave room for a cow. Ha, ha. 106 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,891 Listen, I love your charming racist humor. 107 00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:33,935 But any chance you could not mock my religion while she's here? 108 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:38,231 - You made fun of me for eating lox. - Your people don't worship on. 109 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,984 Clearly you've never been to brunch with my cousins. 110 00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:44,279 So arranged marriages, the parents just decide... 111 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:45,822 And then you get married? 112 00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:49,743 Oh, no, no. I get a say in it. I'm sure whoever shows up will be better company... 113 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:53,705 Than the threesome I've been having with aunt jemima and Mrs. Buttennorth. 114 00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,459 Excuse me, are you rajesh? 115 00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,961 Oh, yes. You must be lakshmi. 116 00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:02,172 - Uh, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you too. 117 00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:05,467 Oh, uh, these are my friends. Uh, this is Bernadette. 118 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,010 - Hello. - Uh, and this is Howard. 119 00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:08,698 - Howard: Nice to meet you. - You too. 120 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,722 Please, have a seat. 121 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,141 I'm thinking double wedding. 122 00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:20,273 Spock: Dr. Cooper. 123 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,736 Dr. Cooper? 124 00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,280 Is someone there? 125 00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:29,366 Down here. On your desk. 126 00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:37,791 - Spock? - I need to speak with you. 127 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,294 Fascinating. 128 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:44,798 The only logical explanation is that this is a dream. 129 00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:47,550 It is not the only logical explanation. 130 00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:49,928 For example, you could be hallucinating... 131 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:54,599 After being hit on the head by, say, a coconut. 132 00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,395 Was I hit on the head by a coconut? 133 00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:02,023 I am not going to dignify that with a response. 134 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,359 Now to the matter at hand. 135 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:07,320 You need to play with the transporter toy. 136 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,990 - But it's mint-in-box. - Yes. 137 00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:12,492 And to open it would destroy its value. 138 00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:15,036 But remember, like me... 139 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:17,038 You also have a human half. 140 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:20,959 Well, I'm not going to dignify that with a response. 141 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,336 Consider this. 142 00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:26,840 - What is the purpose of a toy? - To be played with. 143 00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,676 Therefore, to not play with it would be...? 144 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:33,847 Illogical. Oh, damn it, Spock, you're right. 145 00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,476 Sheldon, wait. 146 00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:41,187 You have to wake up first. 147 00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:43,273 Oh, of course. 148 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:46,443 Set phasers to "dumb," right? Ha, ha. 149 00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:49,112 Goodie, goodie, goodie. 150 00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:56,077 This is wrong, this is wrong. I'm so excited, but this is wrong. 151 00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,457 I'm gonna do it. 152 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,459 I'm doing it. 153 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,342 That's what I always thought 1975 smelled like. 154 00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:17,932 One to beam down, Mr. Scott. 155 00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:20,185 Aye, aye, Mr. Spock. 156 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,479 Energize. 157 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,481 Aah. 158 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:27,817 Energize. 159 00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,081 Don't be broken. 160 00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:44,042 Oh. Please, don't be broken. 161 00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:47,253 What did you make me do? 162 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:52,258 Okay, okay. Think. 163 00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:00,475 It's only logical. 164 00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:06,731 My goodness, that was delicious. 165 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:11,236 Well, I hope you saved room for chocolate lava cake. 166 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:12,654 Impressive. 167 00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:14,948 What goes into making something like that? 168 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,951 Well, you start out by trying to make chocolate souffle. 169 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:19,661 And when it falls, you panic... 170 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:22,372 Quickly change the name, and voila, lava cake. 171 00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:26,835 I bet our parents are dying to know how things are going here. 172 00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:29,504 Well, let's see. 173 00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,006 Yep, three missed calls. 174 00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:35,135 Four missed calls, two text messages, and a failed video chat. 175 00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,470 - I win. - Ha, ha. 176 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:40,223 So, what are we going to tell them? 177 00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:43,977 - I'd like to tell them things are going well. - Me too. 178 00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,812 But before we get their hopes up... 179 00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:48,857 We should probably make sure we're on the same page. 180 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,358 Okay. 181 00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:52,861 What page are you on? 182 00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:56,656 I'm on the one where I'm under a lot of pressure from my parents... 183 00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:59,576 To get married and settle down and have a family. 184 00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:03,121 And I'm going to do it so they don't find out I'm gay. 185 00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:07,333 Say again? 186 00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:08,710 I'm gay. 187 00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:13,590 Dude-on-dude, but with women? 188 00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,843 I know a fake marriage isn't an honest way to live... 189 00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:20,513 But you, of all people, should know how difficult it is to come out. 190 00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:23,349 Why me "of all people"? 191 00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:26,186 Well, there's a rumor back in New Delhi that you're... 192 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:27,520 How shall we say? 193 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:29,898 Comfortable in a sari. 194 00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:33,026 - I'm not gay. - Really? 195 00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:35,987 The chocolate lava cake, the little soaps in the bathroom. 196 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:39,032 And I'm sorry, but you're wearing more perfume than I am. 197 00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:42,493 That's unbreakable by Khloe and Lamar. 198 00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:46,080 And for your information, it's unisex. 199 00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:50,043 Fill in the blank: "I love the nightlife..." 200 00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:52,086 - I like to boogie. - Got you. 201 00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:55,673 With women. I like to boogie with women. 202 00:11:56,633 --> 00:12:00,261 That's disappointing. You were exactly the kind of phony-baloney husband... 203 00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:01,930 I was looking for. 204 00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:03,973 Thank you. 205 00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:07,268 And once again, my baloney likes girls. 206 00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:12,148 Wait, wait. You don't wanna put a bite of that in your mouth... 207 00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:15,485 Without trying my homemade chantilly cream. 208 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,112 Yeah, okay, that time I heard it. 209 00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:33,836 Oh, dear. 210 00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:38,132 Two suns and no sunscreen. 211 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,639 Hello again, Sheldon. 212 00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:48,268 What is it now, tiny Spock? 213 00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:50,395 I am very disappointed in you. 214 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,064 You broke your toy and switched it with Leonard's. 215 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,400 You should be ashamed of yourself. 216 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,610 You're the one who told me to play with it. 217 00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:01,948 If I told you to jump off the bridge of the enterprise, would you do it? 218 00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:07,453 If I got on the bridge of the enterprise, I would never ever leave. 219 00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:11,332 Trust me, it gets old after a while. 220 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,961 You must right your wrong, Sheldon. 221 00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,672 Why? I got away with it. 222 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,800 Leonard has his toy, and he's never going to open it. 223 00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:24,512 So he won't know it's broken. And I have a toy that isn't broken. 224 00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:25,972 Everybody's happy. 225 00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:27,765 Well, I am unhappy. 226 00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:30,727 I thought where you come from they don't have emotions. 227 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:35,023 I come from a factory in Taiwan. 228 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,692 Now, do the right thing. 229 00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:39,527 You know what you are? 230 00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:42,655 Well, you're a green-blooded buzzkill. 231 00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:44,949 Perhaps it's time you beam on out of here. 232 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:48,036 Fine. I will just use the transporter. 233 00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:51,748 Oh, right, you broke it. 234 00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:57,712 Very well. Cooper to enterprise, one to beam up. 235 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,047 Energize. 236 00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:13,186 Aah! Tiny Spock! Help! 237 00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:21,069 - Ready for lunch? - Yeah, one sec. Ahh. 238 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:26,407 Oh, good. Ma would've killed me if she found out I broke my retainer. 239 00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:31,871 Hey, uh, can I run something by you? It's about lakshmi. 240 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,207 Yeah, sure. How are things going? 241 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:35,583 We hit a couple of bumps. 242 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:39,545 She lives over in Manhattan beach, so it takes like an hour to get there. 243 00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:41,464 And she's a lesbian. 244 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,550 What do you mean, a lesbian? 245 00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:48,054 Well, you know whenever you and I would try to hit on women in bars... 246 00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:51,265 They'd blow us off, then we'd tell each other they were gay? 247 00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:52,809 It's like that. 248 00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:55,311 Except this time, it's true. 249 00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:59,774 - Why did she even go out with you? - She was looking for a husband... 250 00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:01,776 So she can appear to be straight. 251 00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:05,363 And, you know, it sounded crazy to me at first... 252 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:08,324 But I'm actually thinking about doing it. 253 00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:14,247 Okay. Well, so the reason that might sound crazy is because it's crazy! 254 00:15:14,789 --> 00:15:16,749 Look, Howard, you're in a relationship. 255 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:18,668 You know you have to make compromises. 256 00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:22,130 Yes, but my compromises are about which bedspread to buy... 257 00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:25,758 Or whose turn it is to do the laundry, Bernadette's or my mom's. 258 00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:32,849 It's a great deal. We both get our parents off our backs. 259 00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:35,476 I don't have to come home to an empty apartment. 260 00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:40,857 Plus, once I'm married, I can finally eat carbs again and let myself go. 261 00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:45,570 Why don't you tell your parents you wanna try to find someone else? 262 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,573 You know, one who hasn't slept with more women than you. 263 00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,701 Because this one wants to marry me. 264 00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:54,203 I might never find another one who does. 265 00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:58,374 You're thinking about marrying someone you're never gonna have sex with? 266 00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:00,585 I can't believe your attitude. 267 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:04,046 I thought you were in favor of gay people getting married. 268 00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:07,216 Howard: Yes, to other gay people. 269 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:11,179 Rajesh: Do you hear how homophobic you sound? 270 00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:54,972 Oh, I don't want a broken toy. 271 00:16:57,642 --> 00:16:59,435 Nothing. 272 00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:04,023 - What? - Nothing. I said nothing. 273 00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:07,235 - That was weird. - Really? I don't even notice anymore. 274 00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:11,864 Ahh, I cannot believe you guys aren't gonna play with these. 275 00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,991 We told you, you don't. It's mint-in-box. 276 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,118 I don't know. I just think it's a waste. 277 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:24,252 Just relax, I'm just looking at the box. 278 00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:29,131 You should look with your eyes and not your muscular Nebraska man-hands. 279 00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,260 What is your problem? 280 00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:35,388 My problem is that I don't want you to break Leonard's toy... 281 00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:39,725 Which you probably did by shaking it. She shook it, we all saw her. 282 00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:43,729 Leonard, I bought you this because I wanted you to have fun with it. 283 00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:46,190 I didn't want it to sit in this box. 284 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,109 You know what? You're right. 285 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:51,612 I mean, it's from you. I'm never gonna sell it. 286 00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:52,863 - I'm opening it. - Yes. 287 00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:06,961 - It's broken. - What? 288 00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:08,963 Oh, nice job, man-hands. 289 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,635 I guess Stuart sold it to me like this. 290 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,263 Yes. Yes, he did. 291 00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:20,683 That is a perfectly satisfying and plausible explana... 292 00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:23,728 You know, let's all be mad at Stuart. 293 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,772 I paid a lot for this. Let's take it over there and show him. 294 00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,441 Absolutely. 295 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,153 Wait. 296 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:38,117 It was me. 297 00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:40,328 I opened your toy... 298 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:43,831 Discovered it was broken, and didn't tell you. 299 00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:49,295 - Why would you open mine? - I didn't. That was a lie. 300 00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:52,131 I opened my own toy... 301 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:55,426 And it was already broken, so I switched them. 302 00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:59,722 - Well, you should talk to Stuart. - I can't, because that was a lie. 303 00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:05,728 Yours was broken in an earthquake and that's a lie. 304 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,690 What is the truth? 305 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:14,028 My Mr. Spock doll came to me in a dream and forced me to open it. 306 00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:18,282 And when the toy broke, I switched it for yours. 307 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,661 Later, he encouraged me to do the right thing and I defied him. 308 00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:24,747 And then I was attacked by a gorn. 309 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,878 - Okay, that I believe. - Mm. 310 00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:33,172 Leonard, penny, I want you both to know... 311 00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:37,677 That I regret my actions towards the two of you. That's a lie. 312 00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:40,262 So is that one mine? 313 00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:43,349 - Yes. - Well, hand it over so I can open it. 314 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:45,393 Okay. 315 00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:48,270 And, Leonard, even though I don't have one anymore... 316 00:19:48,479 --> 00:19:51,065 - I hope you have fun playing with it. - That's a lie? 317 00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:52,733 - A big, fat whopper. - Yeah. 318 00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:56,696 I hope it breaks. 319 00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:05,121 This is a treat. What brings you guys by? 320 00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:08,416 Raj, Howie told me what's going on with you and lakshmi. 321 00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:12,211 - You told her? - I told everybody. 322 00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:16,966 We believe there's someone out there who'll love you for you. 323 00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:19,593 We kind of agreed to disagree on that one. 324 00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:23,013 But we both think you shouldn't marry this woman. 325 00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,891 So while I'm waiting for this mysterious perfect match... 326 00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:29,353 Who may or may not exist, I'm supposed to just be alone? 327 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,021 Not necessarily. 328 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:35,568 I think we found someone for you to cuddle with. 329 00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:38,612 Raj esh: Oh, my goodness. 330 00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:42,616 Aren't you the cutest little yorkie ever? 331 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:46,412 - You got him for me? - Her. 332 00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:49,206 We thought you two would hit it off. 333 00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:52,918 I think we already have. Thank you guys so much. 334 00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:56,297 Let's go see if you fit in my man-purse. 335 00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:01,927 Metrosexual, my ass.