1
00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:03,850
Penny: Previously on
the big bang theory...

2
00:00:04,255 --> 00:00:06,935
I guess I'm still wondering
if Emily and I are right for each other.

3
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,844
Does this have to do with that girl
you had coffee with?

4
00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:13,764
You mean the strong, sexy angel
I can't stop thinking about? Who can say?

5
00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:18,311
I need to come up with a big idea
to make some money.

6
00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:20,831
- There's no reason you can't.
- That's easy for you to say.

7
00:00:20,855 --> 00:00:23,292
You and Sheldon already came up
with your superfluid helium model.

8
00:00:23,316 --> 00:00:25,943
That's just research,
we're never gonna make any money from it.

9
00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:29,780
Forget helium. The real superfluid
is the fruit punch in this mug.

10
00:00:31,282 --> 00:00:34,368
Reminds me of my daddy's
secret don't-tell-mama juice.

11
00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:40,124
Maybe that's an idea.
Guidance systems for drunk people.

12
00:00:40,291 --> 00:00:42,126
They have that, it's called uber.

13
00:00:43,419 --> 00:00:46,047
Hey, in your super-cooled
helium experiments,

14
00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:48,299
did you create quantum vortices?

15
00:00:48,466 --> 00:00:50,593
- Yeah, why?
- Well, if you made a guidance system,

16
00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:53,095
couldn't you use those vortices
as a gyroscope?

17
00:00:54,513 --> 00:00:55,556
Never thought about that.

18
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:58,976
And since it's in a quantum state,
it would maintain an infinite persistence.

19
00:00:59,143 --> 00:01:01,979
Groundbreaking revelations,
tropical drinks, tell me

20
00:01:02,146 --> 00:01:05,066
this isn't like the best episode
of sex and the city.

21
00:01:12,323 --> 00:01:15,201
Okay, I gotta ask.
Why are you wearing a bow tie?

22
00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:17,912
Well, I've never applied
for a patent before.

23
00:01:18,079 --> 00:01:19,872
I wanted to make a good impression.

24
00:01:21,207 --> 00:01:23,417
Is the impression
that your first name is pee-wee?

25
00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:32,009
Yeah, well, you're an engineer.
End ofjoke, burn.

26
00:01:35,471 --> 00:01:37,056
Come on in, fellas.

27
00:01:37,223 --> 00:01:38,766
See, he's not wearing a tie.

28
00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:41,093
Well, he's a patent attorney,
maybe his tie is pending.

29
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:45,273
So, I've reviewed your papenivork.

30
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,400
It seems like we've got everything we need

31
00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:50,361
to file a patent
for your infinite persistence gyroscope.

32
00:01:50,528 --> 00:01:51,862
- That's great!
- Excellent.

33
00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:53,072
So what happens next?

34
00:01:53,239 --> 00:01:56,039
Well, the legal team needs to review
existing patents to avoid overlap.

35
00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:57,660
Oh, I don't think there will be.

36
00:01:57,827 --> 00:01:59,370
Yes, we did our own search, so...

37
00:01:59,704 --> 00:02:02,623
That's nice, but I think ours
might be a bit more thorough.

38
00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:04,709
Get a load of this guy.

39
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:08,671
Can you imagine
if we make money with this?

40
00:02:08,838 --> 00:02:12,883
Well, if we do, I am splurging
on the best sinus irrigator money can buy.

41
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,220
That old sad story, guy gets
a little money,

42
00:02:16,387 --> 00:02:17,987
goes straight up his nose.

43
00:02:19,223 --> 00:02:22,393
Just need you to review
and sign this document

44
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:27,106
acknowledging that you understand
the university will own 75% of the patent.

45
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:30,693
Seventy-five percent?

46
00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:31,944
That's outrageous.

47
00:02:32,111 --> 00:02:34,655
I mean, this is our idea
based on our research.

48
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:37,908
How can you possiblyjustify
owning a majority share?

49
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:39,410
It's university policy.

50
00:02:40,286 --> 00:02:41,746
I know when I'm beat.

51
00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:45,583
Hold on, hold on.
So the three of us do all the work

52
00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:47,460
and only end up with 25%?

53
00:02:48,127 --> 00:02:51,922
Dr. Hofstadter, this university's been
paying your salaries for over ten years.

54
00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:54,370
Do you think we do that
out of the goodness of our hearts?

55
00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:57,762
Well, until you just said
that mean thing, kind of.

56
00:02:59,305 --> 00:03:01,599
And as far as Mr. Wolowitz is concerned,

57
00:03:01,766 --> 00:03:04,602
I'm afraid as a federal employee
on loan from NASA,

58
00:03:04,769 --> 00:03:06,645
your name can be on the patent, but...

59
00:03:07,313 --> 00:03:09,523
You're not entitled to an ownership share.

60
00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:14,737
Wait, so this can turn out to be
a financial success and I get nothing?

61
00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:18,783
We”, sometimes they give you a plaque.

62
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:22,119
Well, that's not fair.
We should all get plaques.

63
00:03:25,164 --> 00:03:26,791
Sorry, but we can't sign this.

64
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,376
Come on, let's go.

65
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,127
Thank you for your time.

66
00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:35,299
A couple of questions about the plaque...

67
00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:05,413
So, have you been having
any morning sickness?

68
00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:09,041
A little, and it doesn't help that I have
this heightened sense of smell.

69
00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:10,626
What, is that a pregnancy thing?

70
00:04:10,793 --> 00:04:14,547
Yeah. The other day I sniffed out
where Howie hid the girl scout cookies.

71
00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:18,884
No more tagalongs, my ass.

72
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:24,098
But now you'll be able to make
your own milk to eat the cookies with.

73
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,394
Hey, guys. Hey, penny,

74
00:04:28,561 --> 00:04:31,605
I really appreciate you helping me
with this. I don't know what to do.

75
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,482
- Sure, let me see it.
- See what?

76
00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:35,693
I hadn't spoken to Emily
since I broke up with her,

77
00:04:35,860 --> 00:04:37,695
and she left this
on my doorstep with a note.

78
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,699
"Raj, I got you this before we split up
but couldn't return it

79
00:04:41,866 --> 00:04:45,369
"and thought you'd like to have it.
Happy belated Valentine's day, Emily."

80
00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:46,787
That's nice.

81
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,634
"Nice," or is she trying
to manipulate him?

82
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:51,041
I know. I mean, do I open it?
Do I return it?

83
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,376
Why wouldn't you open it?

84
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:55,296
Well, she was pretty mad,
for all I know it's a voodoo do” of me

85
00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:57,214
with a fork stuck in myjunk.

86
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:03,387
You don't think she'd actually send you
something gross or dangerous, do you?

87
00:05:03,554 --> 00:05:05,723
I know one way to find out. Sniff this.

88
00:05:08,184 --> 00:05:10,269
She's pregnant, she's not a bloodhound.

89
00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:13,898
Although I am getting
a little machine oil, I think it's metal.

90
00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:15,983
Come on, just open it.

91
00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:18,694
You know, on game of thrones

92
00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:21,906
balon greyjoy received
his son's genitals in a box.

93
00:05:23,616 --> 00:05:25,075
Oh, never hurts to have a spare.

94
00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:30,289
- Bernadette: What is that?
- Wow!

95
00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:33,083
It's an antique sextant.

96
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:36,128
Sailors used these
to find their positions by the stars.

97
00:05:36,462 --> 00:05:38,506
What a nice gift for an astrophysicist.

98
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:39,798
I know, she's so thoughtful.

99
00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:41,509
See, she's trying to get you back.

100
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,236
Now that is exactly
what I would've gotten you

101
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:45,262
if I had any idea
what it is or what you do.

102
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:48,724
You know, I...

103
00:05:48,891 --> 00:05:50,100
I have too much self-esteem

104
00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:52,770
to let this girl guilt me
into getting back together with her.

105
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:56,106
You don't need to be pregnant
to smell that load of crap.

106
00:06:00,611 --> 00:06:01,654
Well...

107
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:04,508
What if we go around the university
and just get the patent ourselves?

108
00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:06,885
We can't. It says on their website
as long as we work there,

109
00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:09,349
they have a controlling ownership
of anything we come up with.

110
00:06:10,246 --> 00:06:14,375
Great. So they own my idea for a t-shirt
that says "dumb as a bag of geologists."

111
00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:21,298
Well, our choices are
we do this with the university

112
00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:22,466
or we don't do it at all.

113
00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:24,635
Either way, I get nothing.

114
00:06:25,177 --> 00:06:27,972
Or if we end up making money from this,

115
00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:30,391
Sheldon and I could
split our shares with you.

116
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,811
To be clear,
Leonard's referring to the gyroscope,

117
00:06:33,978 --> 00:06:35,563
not the t-shirt and mugs.

118
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:37,314
Oh!

119
00:06:37,523 --> 00:06:38,732
Now they own the mugs.

120
00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:44,697
I guess that is a way around this.
You guys would be cool doing it like that?

121
00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:46,991
Of course,
we would split any profits three ways.

122
00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:49,410
- I'm fine with that.
- Okay, great.

123
00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:53,330
It sounds like a contract
might be in order.

124
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,335
Sure, we could write something up.

125
00:06:58,502 --> 00:07:00,379
But which one of us
should be the party who...

126
00:07:00,546 --> 00:07:01,547
You can do it, Sheldon.

127
00:07:01,714 --> 00:07:02,881
So stipulated!

128
00:07:05,718 --> 00:07:09,138
Once I found a stash of contracts
under his bed, it was weird.

129
00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:15,853
I wonder how much she spent on this.

130
00:07:16,020 --> 00:07:17,354
Ooh! Let's find out.

131
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,691
It doesn't matter,
it's the thought that counts.

132
00:07:20,858 --> 00:07:24,236
Yeah, yeah, and beauty's on the inside,
size doesn't matter. How much she spend?

133
00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:27,656
Seriously, guys, I don't wanna know.

134
00:07:27,823 --> 00:07:29,033
Oh, my.

135
00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:32,036
We”, come on, you can't say,
"oh, my" and then not tell me!

136
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,706
These things go for $500 and up.

137
00:07:36,332 --> 00:07:39,084
Damn. All I got for Valentine's day
was a postcard saying

138
00:07:39,251 --> 00:07:41,211
my Vermont Teddy bear was back-ordered.

139
00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:44,131
Okay, so she drops off a $500 gift

140
00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:46,298
and she's not trying
to get back together with you?

141
00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:47,551
Maybe you're right.

142
00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:49,803
Or she's telling the truth
and just being nice.

143
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,723
Maybe you're right.
Wow, I am easy to manipulate.

144
00:07:57,061 --> 00:07:59,229
Guys, it's emin. What should I do?

145
00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:01,732
Okay. Answer it.
Just be strong, and if she starts to cry,

146
00:08:01,899 --> 00:08:03,734
don't make any promises,
and most importantly,

147
00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:05,221
put it on speaker so we can hear.

148
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,991
- Hello.
- Emily: Hey, it's Emily.

149
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,159
Is this a good time?

150
00:08:15,079 --> 00:08:16,580
Yeah, yeah, sure. What's up?

151
00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:21,085
Was it okay I left that gift?
I'm really hoping we can be friends.

152
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,049
Maybe, maybe.

153
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:30,511
Um, you think you'd wanna
grab a cup of coffee?

154
00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:43,065
Hello?

155
00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:46,485
I'm sorry, I seem to be taking
an annoying amount of time

156
00:08:46,652 --> 00:08:47,903
deciding how I feel about this!

157
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,450
I just... I miss hanging out with you.

158
00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:56,662
It's not like I lost a friend,
it's like I lost my best friend.

159
00:08:57,162 --> 00:09:00,457
Is there any chance
you'd wanna come over?

160
00:09:05,421 --> 00:09:08,132
I'm sorry.
I don't think that's a good idea.

161
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:11,385
Okay.
I'm just, I'm having a really hard time,

162
00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:14,263
but that's not your problem, that's mine.

163
00:09:14,430 --> 00:09:16,181
I won't bother you again,

164
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:19,893
but please know that you'll
always have a place in my heart.

165
00:09:26,108 --> 00:09:28,277
Bye, raj. You're a good guy.

166
00:09:29,528 --> 00:09:31,071
Goodbye, emin.

167
00:09:33,866 --> 00:09:35,033
That was rough, you guys.

168
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,994
I know, but you did it.
I'm so proud of you.

169
00:09:37,161 --> 00:09:39,663
Well, anyway,
I'll leave you to your girls' night.

170
00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:41,670
Are you sure you
don't wanna stay here with us?

171
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:43,632
No, I kind of
feel like being alone right now.

172
00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:45,928
Well, if you change your mind,
we'll be here.

173
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,337
Thank you.

174
00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:49,339
Say hi to emin for us.

175
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:50,674
Will do.

176
00:09:57,431 --> 00:09:59,183
Yeah, this contract looks good to me.

177
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:03,645
I'll say it looks good.
It's in my proprietary font, shelvetica.

178
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:10,360
I wanna say something obnoxious,
but it is easy on the eyes.

179
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:14,460
I'm a little tired, Howie,
you ready to go?

180
00:10:14,490 --> 00:10:16,700
Yeah, one sec.
I just need to sign this contract.

181
00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:17,868
What is it?

182
00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:19,846
Well, we ran into a problem
about my share of the patent,

183
00:10:19,870 --> 00:10:23,207
so we're forming a partnership
to split anything we make equally.

184
00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:25,147
Sheldon, did you draft the contract?

185
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:26,585
You bet I did.

186
00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:29,296
You're gonna make out so hard tonight.

187
00:10:33,926 --> 00:10:36,566
So, you're just gonna sign this
without having a lawyer look at it?

188
00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:40,557
Excuse me, I've been drafting contracts
since kindergarten.

189
00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,535
Didn't need a lawyer to get me
out of finger painting,

190
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:43,602
don't need one now.

191
00:10:45,229 --> 00:10:46,230
I know, but...

192
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:49,691
Bernie, the guys were nice enough to find
a way to keep me from being cut out.

193
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,320
Well, I should hope so.
The whole thing was your idea.

194
00:10:53,904 --> 00:10:58,242
Well, to be fair,
Howard's idea was based on Sheldon's math.

195
00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:00,911
Guys, everyone is involved in this, okay?

196
00:11:01,078 --> 00:11:03,247
Howard's invention, Sheldon's math,

197
00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:06,583
my original theory that space time
was like a super-cooled liquid,

198
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,335
which I'm sure penny would've mentioned

199
00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:10,546
if she wasn't working on
that hangnail right now.

200
00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:13,924
What?

201
00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:17,928
- Honey, this is fine.
- Okay.

202
00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:20,973
You wanna sign a contract
that Sheldon whipped up, go ahead.

203
00:11:21,265 --> 00:11:22,850
Can I talk to you in the hall?

204
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,768
- Sure.
- Excuse us.

205
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:28,313
Hey, Leonard.

206
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:29,565
What?

207
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:32,012
If she doesn't think
that we should apply for this patent,

208
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:34,778
she's being patently absurd.

209
00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:38,824
Good one.

210
00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:42,369
Okay, you got it.
See, I was afraid it was a thinker.

211
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:46,456
What are you doing?

212
00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:48,518
I just wanna make sure
you've thought this through.

213
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:49,543
What's to think about?

214
00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:51,795
We have an invention
and wanna move fonnard.

215
00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:56,633
Howie, you're about to form
a legal partnership with Sheldon Cooper.

216
00:11:59,428 --> 00:12:02,014
All right, if you're gonna
calmly make excellent points

217
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,820
then I don't know if I wanna talk to you.

218
00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:08,645
Okay, I get it.

219
00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:12,816
And it's sweet that you're worried
about me, but I can take care of myself.

220
00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:15,903
I'm not worried about you,
I'm worried about me.

221
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:19,197
I don't wanna go through this pregnancy
listening to you complain about Sheldon

222
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:21,783
driving you crazy
more than you already do.

223
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,745
Here we go with the ironclad logic again.

224
00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:29,958
You've tried to work with him before,
it hasn't gone well.

225
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,461
Why is this time gonna be any different?

226
00:12:33,712 --> 00:12:35,839
Is the fetus helping you?
'Cause that's cheating.

227
00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:45,015
- Hello.
- Hey, raj. It's Claire, how are you?

228
00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:47,601
Hi, I'm good. Really good.

229
00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:50,371
Well, I don't know why I said
"really good," I'm just regular good.

230
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,105
I really just wanted to sound confident.

231
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,712
And that "really" was a real really,

232
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:55,734
not a fake "really"
like the first "really."

233
00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:58,195
Really?

234
00:12:58,362 --> 00:13:01,156
I don't know,
I lost track and I missed my exit.

235
00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:03,659
So, uh, so what's up?

236
00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:07,537
Well, last time we talked I had just
gotten back together with my boyfriend

237
00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:10,040
and I wanted to let you know
that things didn't work out.

238
00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:13,001
Really?
I'm sorry, I swear I know other words.

239
00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:16,196
So if you were still interested...

240
00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:19,049
Yes! Indeed. Absolutely. Indubitably.

241
00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:22,336
I'm not even sure what the last one means,
but it's another word and I know it.

242
00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:25,389
So, when do you wanna meet up?

243
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:28,350
Um, I'm almost off work,
what are you doing now?

244
00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:30,519
Right now? Well...

245
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:32,869
Well, actually, to be completely honest,

246
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:36,274
I'm stopping by to see my ex-girlfriend
because she's having a tough time,

247
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:38,503
but it's not like
we 're getting back together or anything.

248
00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:41,113
Let me guess,
the worst part about breaking up

249
00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:44,074
is that she doesn't have
her best friend to talk to anymore?

250
00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:46,952
That's exactly what she said!
How do you know that?

251
00:13:47,202 --> 00:13:49,997
I'm a girl,
that's like page one out of the playbook.

252
00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:53,500
Any chance
you could send me a pdf of that playbook?

253
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:57,754
Been out there awhile.

254
00:13:57,921 --> 00:13:59,131
Hope everything's okay.

255
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:00,757
I wonder what they're talking about.

256
00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:02,968
If you guys would shut up,
I could tell you.

257
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,179
Oh, be cool, be cool, be cool.

258
00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:09,599
- Hey.
- Hello.

259
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:10,767
Hey. You guys all right?

260
00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:15,022
Yeah. But, um, we were talking and...

261
00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:19,443
I'm a little concerned about
the three of us forming a partnership.

262
00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:24,114
Are you suggesting
a limited liability corporation?

263
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:27,951
'Cause I did not I-I-see that coming.

264
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:36,168
Sheldon, my concern is not with the money
or anything, it's with how you treat me.

265
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:39,504
Vveh, ibeheve
I'm treating you generously.

266
00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:42,632
That's why I've stipulated
in the contract that your contributions

267
00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:45,218
to our invention
are as valuable as my own.

268
00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:48,972
Are you saying that his contributions
aren't as valuable as yours?

269
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:53,477
No, I'm not saying that,
because I kept saying that this morning

270
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:55,145
and Leonard said stop saying that.

271
00:14:57,773 --> 00:15:00,400
See, this is what happens
every time we work together.

272
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:04,237
You know, hang on. What if Sheldon
had no choice but to be respectful?

273
00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:08,408
What? Is there a switch on the back
of his neck we don't know about?

274
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,600
No. What I'm saying is,
you could add a clause to the contract

275
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,066
that he can't make fun of Howard.

276
00:15:14,331 --> 00:15:15,373
How would you enforce it?

277
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,793
Oh, please, any contract I sign

278
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:20,504
is enforced by my own personal code
of ethics.

279
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,990
- And his obsessive-compulsive disorder.
- Yeah, that, too.

280
00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:27,427
And scoot over,
part of your shadow is on my spot. Move.

281
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,808
Howard, what do you think?

282
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:35,018
I'm on board.

283
00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:36,305
Good. I'll add it right now.

284
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,313
Oh, baby, it's addendum time!

285
00:15:45,237 --> 00:15:47,656
- Emily: Hello?
- Hey, Emily, listen.

286
00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:51,701
I've been thinking and I'm not sure
it's a good idea that I come over.

287
00:15:54,079 --> 00:15:55,831
Okay, I understand.

288
00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:57,874
No, no. Please don't cry.

289
00:15:58,041 --> 00:15:59,626
Okay, I'll stop!

290
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:04,840
- Hello?
- Hey, so listen, Claire, change of plans.

291
00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:09,636
Fine, do what you want,
but she's playing you.

292
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:12,514
I don't think so,
she sounded pretty upset.

293
00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:15,934
You mean like, "I was just really
looking fonnard to seeing you."

294
00:16:16,101 --> 00:16:17,769
"I'm having such a rough day."

295
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,063
Emily, listen.

296
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,403
I'm sorry, but I can't come by.

297
00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:27,654
Why not?

298
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:31,741
I think we both know if I come over
we're gonna get back together and...

299
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,827
I told you I needed a friend.

300
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:36,079
What do you think is happening here?

301
00:16:37,289 --> 00:16:38,373
Call you right back.

302
00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:46,089
The revisions I made start on page four.

303
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:49,342
That is a lot of "whereupons."

304
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,429
You should see
the Valentine's day card he gave me.

305
00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:56,933
"Article three.
As it pertains to this project,

306
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,561
"Dr. Sheldon Cooper
promises to abstain from all insulting

307
00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:02,981
"or disrespectful language
directed toward Howard Wolowitz,

308
00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:06,610
"including but not limited to
mockery of engineering, his height,

309
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:07,986
"his hair, his wardrobe

310
00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:11,281
"and his insane belief
that the ghost rider movie

311
00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:13,116
"was, quote, 'not that bad."'

312
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:19,372
hang on, maybe there should be
a no insult clause about me, too?

313
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,833
- Do you still like cilantro?
- Yeah.

314
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,293
You're tying my hands here.

315
00:17:25,837 --> 00:17:26,917
All right, let's sign this.

316
00:17:27,005 --> 00:17:29,257
Wait, wait, wait.
What are these changes on page six?

317
00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:30,592
Sheldon, what did you do?

318
00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:32,052
I should've known.

319
00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:34,679
"Twenty-five percent of profits
due to Sheldon Cooper

320
00:17:34,846 --> 00:17:36,473
"will be allocated to a scholarship fund

321
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,392
"for the first born child
of Howard and Bernadette Wolowitz."

322
00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:43,563
Sheldon, that's so nice.

323
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,275
That beats the onesie
I was gonna get them from babygap.

324
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,280
That's very generous, Sheldon.

325
00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:54,866
Oh, I've always valued education
over money.

326
00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:58,286
And the very fact that you needed
a written guarantee of respect

327
00:17:58,453 --> 00:18:01,373
made me realize how dismissive
I've been of your contributions.

328
00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:03,750
I appreciate that.

329
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:08,004
And I just hope that this scholarship
can rescue your child

330
00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:11,925
from the subpar education
and menial life of an engineer.

331
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:18,014
- Sheldon.
- What? I didn't sign it yet.

332
00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:28,525
I hear what you're saying,
but I've known Emily a long time

333
00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:30,860
and think she deserves
the benefit of the doubt.

334
00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:34,781
All right, it's your life,
but you know how this is gonna end.

335
00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:36,616
As a matter of fact, I do.

336
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:39,452
I'm gonna comfort her
because I'm a caring and decent friend

337
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:43,039
who's happy to be there
when she needs someone to talk to.

338
00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:44,874
Good talk.

339
00:19:16,281 --> 00:19:17,282
English - sdh