:06:45,196 --> 00:06:46,823
I can see.

109
00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:50,994
Alicia's non-musical,
childless and pro-rug.

110
00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:55,457
She's still on probation, of course,
but I like her.

111
00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:56,875
Cool t-shirt.

112
00:06:57,083 --> 00:07:00,629
Oh, yeah, I don't usually dress like this.
I'm going jogging.

113
00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,506
- You don't jog.
- I can start.

114
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:08,136
The more likely explanation for your attire
is that you're out of clean clothes again.

115
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:10,597
- Thank you, Sheldon.
- You're welcome, penny.

116
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:15,018
Please, you look cute.
I'm dressed like a slob today too.

117
00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:16,311
Oh, ha, ha.

118
00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:19,022
Leonard:
I think you look fantastic.

119
00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:23,860
- This one's a player, huh?
- Oh, yeah, be careful.

120
00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:25,487
- Thanks for the warning.
- Okay.

121
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,906
- I'll see you around.
- See you.

122
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,201
[Keys jingling]

123
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:33,536
[In mocking voice]
"I'm dressed like a slob today too."

124
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,538
Oh, mimicry.

125
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:36,790
I enjoy mimicry.

126
00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:40,126
I've been working on admiral ackbar
from return of the jedi.

127
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:43,380
[Loudly] It's a trap.

128
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,718
You have to imagine me
with a giant squid head.

129
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,559
It's a trap.

130
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:02,190
It's a trap.

131
00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:05,902
It's a trap.

132
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:29,426
[Knock on door]

133
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:31,219
Come.

134
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:32,846
Hey.

135
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,432
Congratulations,
I see you did your laundry.

136
00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:37,100
Well, sort of.

137
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:40,103
- How does one sort of...?
- I bought new clothes, okay?

138
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:43,440
- Is Leonard around?
- He's upstairs at Alicia's.

139
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:46,067
Oh, all right, that's cool, no biggie.

140
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:49,446
He said he'd help me set up my printer,
but I guess I can wait.

141
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:51,114
What exactly is he doing there?

142
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:54,617
In what I can only perceive
as a tactical move to destroy me...

143
00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:58,288
He is with Wolowitz and Koothrappali
setting up her stereo.

144
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:01,791
Oh, they're all up there, huh?
Hmm. Typical.

145
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:05,128
It's axiomatically atypical.

146
00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:10,592
Until recently, they did not know Alicia,
and had no encounters in a previous location.

147
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,011
They never went
to visit the former tenants.

148
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:17,640
So your characterization of their behavior
as typical is demonstrably fallacious.

149
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,896
Okay, now I see the giant squid head.

150
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:28,151
[Door opens then closes]

151
00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:32,989
Oh, great.
Now I have to start all over again.

152
00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:37,160
Yeah, I thought about renting
this apartment...

153
00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:41,623
But I'm really more of a downtown-loft
kind of guy.

154
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,625
Cool. So are you in a loft now?

155
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:47,212
Oh, actually I'm living
with a woman in altadena.

156
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,215
Purely platonic. She's also my maid. Heh.

157
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:54,511
- Sounds like a sweet deal.
- Well, I won't lie. It's pretty dope.

158
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,515
Hello?

159
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:00,266
Oh, hey.

160
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,811
Hi. I just wanted to bring you
a housewarming gift.

161
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,395
That is so sweet.

162
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,564
- Come on in. Let's open it.
- Great.

163
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:10,735
- Nice dress.
- Oh, this? I'm dressed like a slob today.

164
00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:15,156
The guys have been helping me
set up my sound system.

165
00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:17,867
I've never had
such good-looking technical support.

166
00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:21,412
Oh, pish posh.

167
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:22,622
[Inaudible]

168
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:25,875
I don't know. It means shucks.

169
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:30,213
Shucks means shucks.
Let one go once in a while.

170
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:33,091
Penny,
you wanna hear something awesome?

171
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:36,094
- Yeah.
- Alicia is an actress just like you.

172
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:39,264
That is so awesome.

173
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:43,643
- Well, trying to be, but it's so hard.
- I know, tell me about it.

174
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:47,063
I've been here three months.
All I've gotten is a couple commercials.

175
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:49,232
And this recurring thing on a soap.

176
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:56,406
That's why I work at the cheesecake
factory. I'm holding out for the right part.

177
00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:04,414
Alicia, what do you want as your default
setting for DVDs, 5.1 dolby or dts?

178
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:07,083
Whatever you think is best, cutie.

179
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:08,793
[Giggles]

180
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:13,423
Well, dts has more low-end...

181
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:16,259
So okay.

182
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:22,932
Hey, guys, you will really appreciate this.
I read the best science joke on the Internet.

183
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:25,852
Alicia, you won't get it,
but it's right up their alley.

184
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:29,272
Anyway, so this physicist goes
into an ice cream parlor every week...

185
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:31,441
Orders an ice cream sundae
for himself...

186
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:33,943
And offers one to the empty stool
next to him.

187
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,946
This goes on until the owner
asks him what he's doing.

188
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,490
The man says, "well, I'm a physicist...

189
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:43,119
And quantum mechanics teaches us...

190
00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:46,789
That it is possible
for the matter above this stool...

191
00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:49,292
To spontaneously turn
into a beautiful woman...

192
00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:51,836
Who might accept my offer
and fall in love."

193
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,756
The owner then says,
"lots of women come in here every day.

194
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:58,259
Why don't you buy an ice cream for them,
and they might fall in love?"

195
00:11:58,468 --> 00:11:59,677
And the physicist says:

196
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:02,972
"Yeah, but what are
the odds of that happening?" Ha.

197
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,480
That's a little insulting, don't you think?

198
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:13,816
How would I know?
I'm not even sure I get it.

199
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:16,986
Hey, Leonard?

200
00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:20,156
If you're done with the DVD player,
can you set up my printer?

201
00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:21,658
Oh, yeah, I'd love to.

202
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,995
When you're done with her printer,
you could set up mine.

203
00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:28,498
You know, like you promised,
a week ago?

204
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,500
Yeah, I'll get to it. Don't nag me.

205
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:36,339
Hello, there.

206
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:43,346
[Music plays over TV]

207
00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:49,018
[Man speaks indistinctly
over TV]

208
00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:54,482
Who is it?

209
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:59,946
Oh, hello, penny. It's open. Come in.

210
00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:04,367
Sarcasm.

211
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:08,663
- Well, they're all still up there.
- You think I can't hear them?

212
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:11,958
Listen to that. Stomp, stomp, stomp.

213
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:15,628
It's Wolowitz in his stacked heels
that fool no one.

214
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:19,757
I don't even know why I care.
I don't care.

215
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:23,761
All right, I cared enough to memorize
that stupid joke, but that's all I care.

216
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:25,930
You know, penny...

217
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:29,726
There's something that occurs in
beehives you might find interesting.

218
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:35,106
Occasionally, a new queen will arrive
while the old queen is still in power.

219
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:39,402
When this happens, the old queen
must either locate to a new hive...

220
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:45,575
Or engage in a battle to the death
until only one queen remains.

221
00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:49,912
What are you saying?
That I'm threatened by Alicia?

222
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:53,875
That I'm like the old queen of the hive,
and it's just time for me to go?

223
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:56,836
I'm just talking about bees.

224
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:59,672
They're on the discovery channel.

225
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:03,009
What are you talking about?

226
00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:06,012
Bees.

227
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,016
[Gasps]

228
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,852
I just got that physicist joke.

229
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:18,649
- Gee, penny, thanks for buying us dinner.
- Penny: Mm-hm.

230
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,735
- Yeah, what's the occasion?
- No occasion.

231
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:24,197
Just felt like getting some Chinese chow
for my peeps.

232
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,701
Did you remember to ask for the chicken
to be diced not shredded?

233
00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:30,745
Even though the menu
specifies shredded?

234
00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:33,915
Brown rice, not white? Stop at the grocery
and get the mustard?

235
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:36,501
Pick up the low-sodium soy sauce
from the market?

236
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:41,589
See how it's done, Leonard?

237
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,260
What do we got going on tonight?

238
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:50,640
Playing halo? Watching Battlestar?
Drop some mentos in diet coke?

239
00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,184
You wanna watch Battlestar?

240
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:56,896
What can I say? I got my geek on, boys.

241
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,815
[Knock on door]

242
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:02,985
No, no, pms is different.

243
00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:06,697
Thank god you're home. I need help.

244
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,450
- What's wrong?
- I got a callback to audition for CSI...

245
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:13,663
- To play a hooker who gets killed.
- Oh, I'd watch that.

246
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:18,501
But my car is in the shop and I
have to be at universal in 45 minutes.

247
00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:21,838
- Okay, well, I'll take you.
- Alicia: Oh, you're a lifesaver.

248
00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:24,215
- I'll run lines with you in the car.
- Alicia: Great.

249
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,051
And afterward,
I'll take you all out for Chinese.

250
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:30,680
- Actually, that's okay. We already have...
- Leonard: I'm starving.

251
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:32,890
[Door closes]

252
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:36,102
Chinese food right here.

253
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:39,272
They're gone, penny.
They can't hear you.

254
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:44,402
I cannot believe they're letting her
just use them like that.

255
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:47,738
Anything she wants, they go
panting after her like trained dogs.

256
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,700
Just last week, she had Howard
drive to her uncle's house...

257
00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:52,869
In orange county to pick up her TV?

258
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:57,457
You once had Leonard and me
get your television from your ex-boyfriend.

259
00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:01,127
Apples and oranges here, Sheldon.

260
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:05,631
I'm telling you, that girl is a user,
skating through life on her looks...

261
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,592
Taking advantage of innocent men...

262
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,428
Getting auditions
for stupid network shows.

263
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:13,181
It just creams my corn.

264
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:17,477
- May I interject something here?
- Please.

265
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:19,312
You got the wrong mustard.

266
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:25,818
-Hi.

267
00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:28,613
Guess what? I got the part on CSI.

268
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,115
Oh, boy.

269
00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:33,117
Something wrong?

270
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,286
No, no, no.
You know what? Congratulations.

271
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:38,289
I think you'll make a great hooker.

272
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,333
Thank you.

273
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:43,586
Hey, I gotta ask you something.

274
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:45,755
How much do physicists make?

275
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:50,843
I don't know. I don't think a lot.

276
00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:52,678
Yeah, that's what I figured.

277
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:56,641
Well, gotta run.

278
00:16:56,849 --> 00:17:00,311
The guys promised to set up
my satellite dish and paint my bedroom.

279
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:01,771
Yay.

280
00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:04,899
Hey. Hey, can I talk to you about that
for a second?

281
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,192
About what?

282
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:10,488
Well, you know, it's just that
Leonard and Howard and raj...

283
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,240
They aren't like other guys.

284
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:14,116
They're special.

285
00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:17,286
Okay, they're special, and...?

286
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,873
Let's see. How can I explain this?

287
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:24,544
- They don't know how to use their shields.
- Shields?

288
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:28,548
Yeah, you know, like in Star Trek when
you're in battle and you raise the shields?

289
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:35,137
Where the hell did that come from?

290
00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:39,433
Anyways,
you know how guys like this are.

291
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:43,229
So please don't take advantage of them.

292
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:47,066
Who says I'm taking advantage of them?

293
00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:51,737
Come on, they're doing everything for you
because you're leading them on.

294
00:17:51,946 --> 00:17:53,698
So I let them do stuff for me.

295
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,533
They're happy, I get stuff.

296
00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:58,661
Who cares? And how is it
any different from what you do?

297
00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:03,249
Excuse me?

298
00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:04,834
I've seen you around them.

299
00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:08,170
Are you pretending
like you don't do the exact same thing?

300
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:12,508
Okay, lady, you are way out of line.

301
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:16,554
- Oh, I'm out of line?
- Yeah, you're out of line.

302
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:20,808
Well, what are you gonna do about it,
bflch?

303
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:25,688
I like green lantern.

304
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:30,026
I'm just saying it's pretty lame that
he can be defeated by the color yellow.

305
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:33,487
Only the modern green lantern
is vulnerable to yellow.

306
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:35,865
Golden-age green lantern
was vulnerable to wood.

307
00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:39,327
Great, so I can take them both out
with a number-two pencil?

308
00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:41,495
[Penny and Alicia screaming]

309
00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:48,711
Oh, my god. Girl fight!

310
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,212
What are you doing?

311
00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:52,840
I know you.
You're stupid enough to break it up.

312
00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:07,104
May I say you look very comely tonight?

313
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:09,398
Thank you.

314
00:19:10,441 --> 00:19:13,194
You're right. This filly's been broken.

315
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,322
[Muffled dance music
playing on stereo]

316
00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:22,745
You set it on dts, didn't you?

317
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:26,207
I had to. She called me cutie.

318
00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:29,585
According to Alicia's Facebook page...

319
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:33,005
She's hooking up
with one of the producers on CSI.

320
00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:37,051
Well, dead whore on TV,
live one in real life.

321
00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,472
[Bed creaking]

322
00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:47,228
Oh, great.

323
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:50,773
Now she's jumping up and down
on the bed.

324
00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:54,694
[Mouths] Wow.

325
00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:21,971
[English - us - sdh]